1. |
I'll Be There
03:27
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I'll be there for you the way a bird nurtures its young
Emit all that I am for the hope to build you up
Instead malignity discharges and fills your lungs
If I could take it back, then I would take it back
Wish I could take it back
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2. |
Readings
05:34
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It's in the cards that I destroy myself
But when drawing swords, you don't know much else
I guess they're right though, I loathe myself
And this won't change with fame nor wealth
But love, I hope it frees me
God knows I could use the help
But I can't shake that I'll fuck it up like everything else
It's in my palm that my world's my girl
But it don't show how I treat the world
Zero to sixty by the count of one
I am my father's son
And all I wanted was for my kid
To not go through the things that I did
But that life, it don't exist when you're a piece of shit
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3. |
Space
07:25
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I forget to cherish you from time to time
Because I can't see what's in front of me
With bloodshot eyes, tears run dry, I'm on my knees
Life fades away till all that's left are memories
Of a time I held you close
I never dreamed of space between
But now it seems all distance brings
is fatigue, disease upon my being
Sleepless nights become routine
Arms embracing mine, kissing you all the while
Main point in life, to make you laugh, to make you smile
Scared of the world beyond my sheets, so unrelenting
Stay underneath, talk of dreams
Desire to leave, to be at ease
Cause this world it seems is orchestrated to destroy me
Constantly flinching at what could be
What I perceive, it's always nothing
I need relief, and then you leave
Adamant in your belief
That you deserve, more than me, to find some peace
The fault is in my bones
This ship, oh it sinks, all on its own
And I hope my words reach through
Forgive me...I know not what I do to you
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4. |
Questions
06:10
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I watched my friends as they danced on earthen floor
The way they swayed was like they were the only two in the world
As I looked on I thought "This must be how it felt
To not be terrified of yourself."
I stared at the ground, undeserving
Of the love, the joy this sight would bring
I sat at the bar until my speech slurred
Did I say that this is the life? Or this is hell?
I'm still unsure
Why you're still here, I'll never know
Each step I take angers you more
Were you scared of being alone?
How did you fall in love?
I'm unkempt, I bleach in the sun
I suck the life from everyone
Ask for too much, don't give enough
And I shut you out when things get rough
I know I'm not not adequate
There's so much you can tolerate
There's too much on my plate
I've tried to improve my state
But I'm slowly unraveling
Regressing, please help me
Don't leave me be
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5. |
The Nature Song
07:01
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The snow falls year after year
Whether or not I'm still here
Regardless of what I know
Trees will grow, trees will grow
No matter where I have been
The waves still keep crashing in
Despite all that I have built
Flowers wilt, flowers wilt
I watch the streams flow
I felt the wind blow
I've watched the sun fall
The moon that stands tall
I've watched as rats devour their young
Another life looked down upon
Can we change what's here before?
When we are gone time will move forward, forevermore
After all I have rearranged
The leaves still turn red, the seasons change
The best I can do is blend right in
As each new day begins
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6. |
Pacify
03:58
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Starving for anything
Latching to everything
Something to satisfy
Keep still and pacify
From crawling to walking
In between, you'd think I'd ween
But as it seems, it's all I need
On my knees begging, please don't leave
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7. |
Not Coming Home
09:13
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All that you say, it won't change a thing
I've become unphased to all the excuses you bring
So enjoy all your flings, keep your needles away
And provide better care for the pills by which I've been replaced
Cause I'm not coming home
I'm not coming home
I'm not coming home
Cause I could never
Be anywhere where you are
So I'm not coming home
For all I know, it's dead and gone
But now there's a child on a backyard swing
And he won't take the gifts I've been offering
I cannot buy his love or respect for me
And all of his tearful words are still soaked through my sleeves
"You know we're all alone
While all you do is roam.
So why won't you come home?
Things could be better.
You say you're a man, so be strong and forgive her.
But you're never around to see that she's better.
We don't know where you are."
But my stomach churns when memories conjure
And my skin, it burns from the touch of her
And if I could, would I endure
A life morose for something pure
Is this what it means to be a parent?
To give up all your joy so they can have it?
Well, I hope without me, he will still be strong
So strong...
So strong...
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8. |
Winter's Gone
04:37
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A slow burning fire ignites in our arms
Instinct to survive when the cold comes to harm
Your hand in mine till winter's gone
We'll close all the blinds and lock all the doors
As long as you're mine, I'll be faithfully yours
And we'll be fine till winter's gone
Our lives played out in my head
But you've made plans in it's stead
When snow, it don't coat the trees
That's when you'll finally see
You were a moth to the flame
Now your arms have grown tired
And there's so much outside, still left to inspire
This bird has flown, now winter's gone
To find her own, now winter's gone
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9. |
Lindo
07:06
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Watching you eat your meal so that you would not choke
This was the last time we spoke
Dimming the lights down in your room to match the hall
The last time I'd see you at all
Summer's are gone and there to stay when you're not around
Who can I run to now?
The years melt in front of my eyes, a masquerade
Nights don't turn to days, they just fade
There was a moment when your spirit passed through me
I felt all you felt, saw all you've seen
And now I will never be whole, all thoughts untrue
Knowing I was once filled with you
Summer's are gone and there to stay when you're not around
Who can I run to now?
The years melt in front of my eyes, a masquerade
Nights don't turn to days, they just fade
How can I be the one alive, and still feel less than you?
Maybe I am not
In my mind you still survive
I'll wait for your return
For you to come and take me home
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10. |
Like A Son
06:59
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Just when I've come into my own
So far from what you tried to make
Now words from school echo through home
Where's the escape?
It's not enough
No, it's not enough
After all you've asked, I've done
Why's it so hard to treat me like a son?
Perhaps if I'd stayed in her womb
And let it turn into my tomb
Waited for disease to flow through
Your vision of me would finally come true
But it's not enough
No, it's not enough
After all you've asked, I've done
Why's it so hard to treat me like a son?
And I would still attend your wake
To watch them drink and dance away
Believe it stems from your new fate
With hopes it lifts this weight
But it's not enough
No, it's not enough
After all you've asked I've done
Why's it so hard?
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11. |
Words
03:26
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The hours flash, I don't think I've ever spent this long staring at patterns on the floor
It's fifteen past, the doctor walks in to remove the IV dripping through her pores
A fingertip upon my chin beckons me skyward
When we lock eyes, I know it's time to say goodbye, to console her
But instead I choke
Cause right now words
They feel so low
And there's no urge
To bear my soul
To speak of hope
What little's left
You'll take it all
When you go
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12. |
Morning Light
07:40
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There's nothing left to do tonight
But wait by candlelight
These blinks will turn into a stare
Hoping you will appear
Just make a hair stand on end
This way I can pretend
That I'm not waiting for something
That will never return
Reassuring myself
While the wax burns
Envision you beside me
Vanishing just as I turn
We talked of finding higher ground
A dream of something more profound
Back then, when nothing rang more true
When time was all I asked of you
And since the night you went away
I've asked myself everyday
Would it be better up above?
Or to wait out this life?
Either way I'm going to fade
To your shade of white
Tossing and turning
Into morning light
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